A Loving Mother’s Dreams Come True
Living Life Without a Handbook
I have written on this subject before. I once thought I could not write any more about it because I am still going through it and figuring it out myself. But maybe that is the point—sharing what I have learned while continuing to learn each day along the way.
Do you have a hobby? A creative outlet? Any interests? Maybe crystals, rock hunting, or collecting unique stones? I enjoy searching for crystals, and it is something my children have grown interested in as well. It creates fun and meaningful conversations with your family—moments that bring everyone together.
These are the moments I build on with my family. I treasure them, even if only for a moment.
Which leads me to speak on self-torment. It is a cycle you want to ease yourself out of gently and smoothly, without stirring everything up again. Those moments when your chakras feel blocked, yet you keep pushing through, believing you are making progress—but really, you are only kicking up dust and making a mess.
Stop. Take deep breaths. Do not undo the good you have already done. Keep up the good work. You have survived difficult moments before. Look at what you have been staring at from a different perspective. Protect your peace, and your child’s peace as well.
Protect yourself from spilling your pain onto others. They did not ask for your burdens to be placed on them.
That realization came to me during a vacation. I noticed I was doing this during family visits, and that thought became my answer. Crystals often help me gain insight into the answers I seek. At the time, I wore kyanite and a purple crystal.
Remembering My Mother and Grandmother
When my mother went through difficult moments, she would call my grandmother. Usually it happened when us children “acted up,” like eating all the tomatoes out of the soup before supper while it was still cooking.
Calling Grandma gave my mother time to cool off, calm down, and hear another perspective. Sometimes our grandmother would talk with us children too—asking why we did what we did, whether we were sorry, or helping talk our mother out of giving us a whooping. Grandma called it “putting it on the shelf,” meaning not every moment needed an immediate reaction.
Today, I smile more. Filling myself with overflowing thoughts of happiness works for me.
I created this book for myself, by myself. At first, I believed I was creating it for other women. But I realized no one needs my help more than I do right now. So I continue helping myself.
I noticed I spent years trying so hard to help others at the expense of myself. This year, I began saying no. That has been one of the most powerful things I have ever done for myself—for my well-being and for my family.
Thank you, family.
And so, I take time for myself, even if it is weeks at a time. This book, or even my family, will not pull every piece of me away until nothing remains. I will rest during the month of my flow because I believe rest is important to my well-being and the development of my higher self, so I can be the best version of myself for my family.
My time alone is for my family too. My sanity is valuable and deserves protection. Motherhood and a mother’s flow deserve respect.
I dislike labels. I took Psychology 1 and Psychology 2, and I still struggle with the idea of placing people into boxes. Put this person in this category, that person in another. But what if someone does not belong in a box?
The same people who simplify everything a mother experiences into terms like “janky mother energy” are often quick to label others “narcissistic.” But perhaps some of those individuals are simply blocked, overwhelmed, or hurting themselves.
For me, books became a search for answers. I searched through books forward and backward, hoping to find wisdom, conversation, or a sense of achievement.
What book would make me smarter? A better mother? A better wife? Help me keep my home clean? Help me remain calm in difficult times?
The Bible? Perhaps. The Bible can teach care, love, and compassion if that is what you see within it. To me, it is also art—art capable of expressing deep emotions and countless lessons.
Nature itself is art flowing everywhere. Flowers grow from seeds. Animals raise their young without constantly questioning whether they are “doing it right.” Humans often claim to be smarter than animals, yet we constantly say we do not know how to raise our children.
Reading became one of my escapes. Books gave me something meaningful to place my attention on besides constantly hovering over my children’s lives. Other hobbies like painting and calligraphy became peaceful outlets too.
I even bought adult coloring books, though I still have not found enough time to color. But I have not ruled them out—they are still waiting for me.
There may never be enough pretty things, trinkets, books, or decorations to completely fill feelings of guilt, sorrow, abandonment, or hurt. But gratitude helps.
Be grateful for every tiny adjustment and every small step toward becoming your higher self. Pat yourself on the back. Hug yourself. Do not wait for others to reward or validate you.
And if others never do, be okay with that.
I am speaking to myself here. If someone else gains something from these words, wonderful.
For years, I searched for approval and admiration from others. Now, I try to give those things kindly to myself.
Religion
Are you trying to do everything “right” according to a book called the Bible? Are you and your child trying hard to fit into someone else’s expectations or stereotypes?
If you have never made your own path or your own household rules, life can begin to feel like a road filled with potholes. Following rules created only for someone else’s benefit can become dangerous for the listener.
If Rosa Parks and the Montgomery Bus Boycott had stood up and given away her seat when she was told to, history would look different. I am grateful women like Harriet Tubman trusted their inner knowing.
Does religion scare you as a mother? Empower you? Strengthen you? Encourage your creativity?
These are all things I struggled with myself.
I did not feel like I fit into some perfect halo image. I often feared being wrong instead of simply being fair and loving. In trying so hard to make my children fit strict ideas and rules, sometimes I overlooked who they truly were as individuals.
Can we talk about raising children without bringing religion into every conversation? Sure. But much of my “janky mother energy” came from fear, guilt, confusion, and trying to force myself into a mold that did not fit.
That journey brought many tears.
Maybe you have your own diary filled with thoughts on the subject too.
So let us move from fear toward freedom.
Inspirations
Eric Thomas
Ralph Smart
Makeda Wisdom
Mr. Cash At Hand
Health
Are you and your family at your best health? Are you eating foods that truly nourish your bodies?
Constipation and digestive health affected my mood more than I realized. I became irritable when my body felt off balance.
How is your relationship with vegetables? Nurture that relationship with your children too.
I love vegetables—squash, Brussels sprouts, and beets. But I know when I have neglected eating them regularly because my body lets me know. Heavy breads and processed foods would leave me feeling sluggish and uncomfortable for days.
And yes, when your body feels miserable, your attitude can follow.
Movement matters too.
Do you dance?
Listening to El DeBarge always lifts my mood. Music can shift energy so quickly.
What are your feel-good songs? Your dancing songs?
Macka B has some songs about healthy eating and natural living that make me smile too.
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